9/11: A shocking day for our great Nation; And an awful day for me!

One World Trade Center

Courtesy of https://www.architecturalrecord.com

If you have previously visited my blog, you know I wrote with great passion about the original 9/11 in A Change of Seasons.

This year, I feel like a personally devastating 9/11 is happening to me. You see, on Labor Day I met with my paralegal; she was notarizing my signature to end my marriage of 37 years! I am a romantic at heart, and even though she could file the final divorce papers that day, I asked her to wait until 9/11 so I could say that I was legally married to beautiful Mik for 37 years —Mik: nickname for my ex-wife Sally, that I gave her after she corrected me; her maiden last name McFerren is pronounced MikFerren and not MacFerren— Even though we were legally married at the Santa Ana courthouse on 8/12/1983, very few people knew about it, we consider our actual wedding day to be 9/10/1983, when we were married in the suburbs of Akron, Ohio, at a little church, where Mik’s parents, family and friends worshipped. We actually did not celebrate with our California friends until we returned from Ohio —We hosted a great party cruising on the Kon Tiki in beautiful Newport Beach harbor—

The last two and a half years have been awful, but we had 35 years of wonderful marriage. So why are we divorcing? It seems I was getting too mean! Mik would disregard my skiing misfortune handicap and make me late for all my personal and business appointments; a trait that does not define me! As a matter of fact, people know that if I make an appointment with them and they’re five minutes late and I don’t hear from them, I simply leave. I resolved that issue by telling Mik that my appointments were ½ hour earlier. But I am the male of the species and I have to take responsibility in the matter: We mismanaged a lot of money, and Mik decided that the best solution for my immediate future, was to retire me to a nursing home; Of course, after the wonderful life that I had been leading, I didn’t like this proposition at all. That and some financial decisions which I didn’t agree with, turned me mean again and she filed for a legal separation after avoiding marriage counseling that I had proposed. Because of my condition, I might end up in a nursing home after all, but at the age of 55, I wasn’t ready for it. I guess we have irreconcilable differences.

But not all should be considered doom and gloom; We have two (adult) children: A handsome young man and a beautiful girl (I know she is now a young lady, but she will always be my beautiful girl) . And I was able to provide a great life for them and Mik. They grew up in heavenly SoCal and I have always been able to provide great homes for them. Our children are not saddled with student loans and they attended well-known universities, including studies abroad. I was lucky to be able to provide financial resources, most of the time, and Mik worked as she pleased or not at all whenever possible. We were also lucky to have exotic vacations in my native Venezuela, Spain and Hawaii as well as the beautiful US southwest. All my material accomplishments were always accompanied with immeasurable love.

No matter what the future holds, I will keep telling my doctors and therapists, our families and friends and most people I meet that I wouldn’t be alive without the love and attention that Mik provided me during my recuperation from my skiing misfortune. I have always been a pretty active guy challenging myself in marathonic sports events and it could not have been easy to see your spouse almost die and with many tubes coming out of his body while in the ICU and reduced to a severely phisically handicapped person thereafter.

So what will I do know? Will I reinvent myself? 2020 has taught us not to make detailed plans because they can be unexpectedly derailed. One thing that I know for certain is that where two magnificent towers stood side by side, now a gleaming skyscraper has been proudly built. Alas, it stands by itself!

33 thoughts on “9/11: A shocking day for our great Nation; And an awful day for me!”

  1. Dear Sri, I am so sorry to hear the news of you and Sally splitting up. You will both always hold a special place in my heart and I will treasure the time we were able to spend together in California together. My prayers are with you and your family for a peaceful solution to your separation and that you continue to be friends with each other as you go your own ways. Thinking of you, blessings George

    1. Two points that I really like about your comment:

      1. “…you continue to be friends with each other as you go your own ways.” We are and we will!

      2. “Thinking of you, blessings”

      Please let me know when you’re back in SoCal; I owe you a paella!

      xxxSri

  2. Lo Siento Mucho Sri la separacion deve ser algo muy duro para ambos pero sobre todo para ti que siempre luchas por la union de la familia. Te abrazo fuerte no pierdas esa sonrrisa tan linda que tienes y por supuesto acuerdate que tienes mucha gente que te quiere y apuestan por ti .

    Tvb Yasmina

  3. I’m truly sorry for your sadness. However, I don’t think your thinly veiled attempts to blame Sally, who did everything humanly possible, is helpful to the situation or any of us who love you both.

    1. Your feedback is seriously taken. But remember that “I’m the male of the species and I have to take responsibility in the matter” I have, you can ask my paralegal!

      xoSri

  4. From my daily news email “10 things you need to know today”:
    ……
    6. Tropical Storm Sally expected to hit
    ̶L̶o̶u̶i̶s̶i̶a̶n̶a̶ [Sri] as hurricane [Insert emoticon or emoji here] ©
    ……

  5. That was a beautiful – albeit bittersweet – article. I appreciate you sending it to me.

    I have massive respect for the ordeal that both you and Sally have had to endure. Neither of you asked for this, but it seems that you both gave your all. You two persisted long beyond what others would have been able to endure.

    I haven’t heard from Sally, but she has always struck me as strong, adaptable and kind-hearted. Which is why I have hope that, like you, she’s also doing her best to embrace this fresh reality.

    You continue to persevere and it’s something I deeply admire about you, Sri. I’m eager to see what you decide to do next!

    And Sally, on the off-chance you read this comment, I hope you’re doing really well 🙂

    Together or separated, I have nothing but love for both of you!

    Best,
    Alec

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