Every year I have two traditions for this wonderful time of year: I set up a Nativity that my sister Pimpollito (cute little bird) made and gave to me; It’s very small and she made it many moons ago. This year one of my caregivers set it up and he included a simple wooden set that my mother gave me a couple of years ago.
The second tradition is to watch “It’s a Wonderful Live” which makes me realize how precious life is … and always makes me cry.
Just as I have pointed out in years past, most Spaniards and Latin Americans won’t wish you a “Happy New Year” but a prosperous one. I guess if you have a prosperous year, it will be a happy one. After the hardships of 2020, we all deserve a prosperous 2021.
Very few days of 2020 have been great; And they have all involved seeing family and friends, specially my mother and sister, and my children (even if it was on video) and their respective boyfriend/girlfriend. Alas, I won’t be physically seeing them for the holidays because of the coronavirus, like a majority of people around the world. I’ll be happy with group video calls, hopefully including one with my college buddies.
This year has not been kind to me: It all began in May when my Mom (who started living with me since 2019) had her flight to the US cancelled, from a visit to her native Spain, because of covid-19 restrictions implemented one week before her return flight. Then on 9/11 my divorce from Mik became final after 37 years of wonderful marriage, and alas 2½ years of legal separation. Unfortunately, I lost a step-brother in my native Venezuela (QEPD Pablo Jose) and a close friend who had retired to his dream home in Dana Point (RIP Vince) to covid-19. I also lost my dear mother-in-law (RIP Faye) who thankfully passed away peacefully in her sleep.
But even though 2020 was an awful year, I also had some great days: Every Monday morning I have a video call with my Mom in Spain and my Sister in Venezuela. I had lunch with my Daughter and her boyfriend on Thanksgiving, and then had an unexpected video call with my Son (who lives in NorCal) at the end of the day. I was also introduced to his beautiful girlfriend. Just last week, I had a Zoom call with some of my high-school classmates; We set up a WhatsApp group and have been posting all kind of messages. Even though I keep in regular touch with three of them, I had not been in contact with most of these people in 45 years —As opposed to the US, in Venezuelan high schools, you stay together with about 40 people in your ‘section’ and the professors come to your classroom; You develop life-long friendships with most of these people—
Even though I conduct most of my contract work via emails and phone calls, I have a cherished ‘drop-by’ routine when I visit the Irvine office of Spireon in the middle of the week, seeing everyone shortly, and meeting with the engineering and managerial staff for Intellectual Property matters. So the WFH reality has not really impacted me but I realize what a hermit I’ve become. I live by a wonderful Town Center, and I used to run errands or just be outside almost daily, on my wheelchair (I’m handicapped with restricted use of my hands and arms because of a skiing misfortune). Now I just go outside once or twice a week, when is completely necessary and almost always acompanied by one of my caregivers. For work, I also conduct a quarterly IP Committee meeting and had not been able to schedule them; Just a few days ago I was able to conduct a productive Zoom meeting and get IP matters back on-track for the year.
When my old company PROCON (PROtect & CONnect) got acquired by a VC several years ago, my old friend and CEO was ousted and he formed a new company (Advantage Automotive AnalĂtics) that currently competes in some markets with Spireon. His new company is also in Irvine and I would visit its offices every couple of months since I have many wonderful friendships with ex-coworkers, who ended up working at AAA. My old boss is also responsible for my new career in IP from being a “glorified hacker” to CIO (Career Is Over!) I miss visiting AAA and even though one could qualify these visits as akward, that’s another routine that I enjoyed and was not able to do in 2020.
I currently live by myself and none of my lifestyle would be possible, without my wonderful caregivers. I usually have daily help from 9am to 3pm but what gives me great flexibility, is to rely on a night caregiver that transfers me to bed and helps me with my end-of-day routines. She is outstanding as are all my other caregivers!
When I compare my situation with other people who are even able-bodied, I realize how grateful I should be. Even though 2020 has been an awful year, I am thankful for my health, my family and friends, my caregivers and my co-workers; And for everything I have been able to accomplish this year.
What can I possibly learn from this individual? I’ve been asking that about my great friend Soid, most of my adult life. I’m not an English native speaker, and as it turns out, the great majority of raunchy sayings, I have learned from Soid.
But allow me to take a stroll down memory lane: I distinctly remember how I met Soid; I was working as a dock-master; at the OCC-UCI Inter-Collegiate Sailing & Rowing Base, Soid and his UC Irvine crew mates had just won an important rowing regatta. As is customary, members of his eight-men big boat, ended up in the water as part of the celebrations. Soid, been an excellent swimmer, decided to venture out close to the Lido-14 docks, where I was administering​ sailing tests. Not only was I concerned about the difficult docking maneuvers that my students would have to complete, but I was also worried about the possibility of a keel or rudder hitting Soid. I let him know about the situation in no uncertain terms; He didn’t say anything, but while swimming away, he gave me a look that undoubtedly​ meant: “Who is this f*cker trying to orchestrate my high?”
Later that evening, I returned to my dawg house, where to my surprise, the UCI eight-man rowing team, including the pretty coxswain, were celebrating with a BBQ, a couple of kegs and several macho competitions. Soid and I, didn’t say much when we saw each other again, we just laughed; We’ve been friends ever since. For the next couple of years, we mostly met when he and our UCI rowing friends visited the dawg house. But we always had great times.
After college, we lost track of each other: I married Sally one year after UCI –This disturbed my roommates and friends to whom marriage was an event way into the future; And I wasn’t ready for all the female drama waiting for me in Venezuela; I know now what I knew then: I made the right decision– Soid went to Oregon to get his MBA and to Arizona for work reasons. We would meet again when my UCI buddies decided to invite me to my first All Boys Trip at June Lake. I think they were worried about their strange customs and whether I would like ABTs; Boy, were they wrong!
Soid tried to poke fun at me during my first ABT; I ended up teaching him how to dance Salsa while wearing nothing but Depends. And I taught everybody how to drink vodka like a Cossack, while balancing backwards on a kitchen counter –Careful, I’m sure there are old grainy VHS tapes somewhere– But ABTs would be the start of a tradition for me: I would never consider an ABT fully started until I had a chance to chase and wrestle Soid when he first made an appearance. I guess it was my way to compensate for Soid’s bouts of coprolalia, that would peak at ABTs.
Two events stick in my mind because of how special they were: Most people don’t realize that Soid is generous, specially with his time. As I was getting ready to do my first Pier-to-Pier swim, he made sure that I could finish it. We took a double-kayak from Corona del Mar to Laguna Beach, where he made me swim around offshore buoys and considered me ready. Of course, we still had to paddle back to Big Corona. We had a great time!
As we progressed into our family and working lives, I would see Soid many more times. By then, I had acquired a taste for rowing sleek outriggers in the beautiful Newport and back bays. That’s how I would finish up my Friday’s; I would mostly row by myself but if I was lucky and could make it work, I would invite dear friends to share some time on the water followed by an ample dinner. Most of these friends were going through some tribulations. Soid may have been going through some problems, but I didn’t care: All I wanted to do was to spend time with my friend. I remember the outing because hundreds of fish were freakishly jumping out of the water; We may have selfishly thought that this was some sort of sign. In reality, there was an overabundance of aquatic insects and the jumping fish were feasting. We never had to mention anything serious. We had a great time!
I doubt Soid knows that I am still learning from him. The lessons are more subtle now. I know I will be learning from this individual for the rest of my life.
