Tag: medical

9/11: A shocking day for our great Nation; And an awful day for me!

One World Trade Center

Courtesy of https://www.architecturalrecord.com

If you have previously visited my blog, you know I wrote with great passion about the original 9/11 in A Change of Seasons.

This year, I feel like a personally devastating 9/11 is happening to me. You see, on Labor Day I met with my paralegal; she was notarizing my signature to end my marriage of 37 years! I am a romantic at heart, and even though she could file the final divorce papers that day, I asked her to wait until 9/11 so I could say that I was legally married to beautiful Mik for 37 years —Mik: nickname for my ex-wife Sally, that I gave her after she corrected me; her maiden last name McFerren is pronounced MikFerren and not MacFerren— Even though we were legally married at the Santa Ana courthouse on 8/12/1983, very few people knew about it, we consider our actual wedding day to be 9/10/1983, when we were married in the suburbs of Akron, Ohio, at a little church, where Mik’s parents, family and friends worshipped. We actually did not celebrate with our California friends until we returned from Ohio —We hosted a great party cruising on the Kon Tiki in beautiful Newport Beach harbor—

The last two and a half years have been awful, but we had 35 years of wonderful marriage. So why are we divorcing? It seems I was getting too mean! Mik would disregard my skiing misfortune handicap and make me late for all my personal and business appointments; a trait that does not define me! As a matter of fact, people know that if I make an appointment with them and they’re five minutes late and I don’t hear from them, I simply leave. I resolved that issue by telling Mik that my appointments were ½ hour earlier. But I am the male of the species and I have to take responsibility in the matter: We mismanaged a lot of money, and Mik decided that the best solution for my immediate future, was to retire me to a nursing home; Of course, after the wonderful life that I had been leading, I didn’t like this proposition at all. That and some financial decisions which I didn’t agree with, turned me mean again and she filed for a legal separation after avoiding marriage counseling that I had proposed. Because of my condition, I might end up in a nursing home after all, but at the age of 55, I wasn’t ready for it. I guess we have irreconcilable differences.

But not all should be considered doom and gloom; We have two (adult) children: A handsome young man and a beautiful girl (I know she is now a young lady, but she will always be my beautiful girl) . And I was able to provide a great life for them and Mik. They grew up in heavenly SoCal and I have always been able to provide great homes for them. Our children are not saddled with student loans and they attended well-known universities, including studies abroad. I was lucky to be able to provide financial resources, most of the time, and Mik worked as she pleased or not at all whenever possible. We were also lucky to have exotic vacations in my native Venezuela, Spain and Hawaii as well as the beautiful US southwest. All my material accomplishments were always accompanied with immeasurable love.

No matter what the future holds, I will keep telling my doctors and therapists, our families and friends and most people I meet that I wouldn’t be alive without the love and attention that Mik provided me during my recuperation from my skiing misfortune. I have always been a pretty active guy challenging myself in marathonic sports events and it could not have been easy to see your spouse almost die and with many tubes coming out of his body while in the ICU and reduced to a severely phisically handicapped person thereafter.

So what will I do know? Will I reinvent myself? 2020 has taught us not to make detailed plans because they can be unexpectedly derailed. One thing that I know for certain is that where two magnificent towers stood side by side, now a gleaming skyscraper has been proudly built. Alas, it stands by itself!

Disreflexia

Disreflexia
Coutesy of http://www.nspnvt.org/sci_info/disreflexia.html

What happened? I wear a Foley catheter that gets changed in my home, every three weeks, by a specialized nurse. Today, a nurse that I have only met once before, attempted what should have been a routine procedure four times, without hitting my bladder and without getting my urine to flow; She knew it was time to stop when my penis started bleeding (ouch!). I would had to wait a couple of hours for her emergency backup, so my caregiver and I decided to call 911.

911 and the ambulance drivers were very professional and transported me to Mission Hospital since I knew I was going into dysreflexia.

What did they do at Mission Hospital? After taking my vitals, which were very elevated by then, an experienced nurse was able to get my catherer changed and my urine flowing on the first try! All my vitals went back to normal right away. After analyzing the situation with my caregiver, we think the in-home nurse inflated the balloon (that keeps my catherer in the bladder) prematurely and that’s why I started bleeding.

Are you okay now? After being transported by ambulance back to my home, I’m in my bed waiting for my night caregiver. Everything is back to normal!

Did you have to wear a mask? That is the first thing that 911 did. Everyone was wearing masks and they put one on me the second they arrived in my home.

Were you alone? Because of Covid-19 protocols nobody was allowed to be with me or visit me! One of the things that really impressed me was how professional every one was; The 911 guys, the EMT’s, the nurses and the doctors. They weren’t doing their job because of a paycheck; They were doing it because they understand how much we rely on them and because they truly wants us to feel better and maybe even save our lives. What an extraordinary set of individuals!

Was this the worst case scenario? Without over-dramatizing the situation, because of Covid-19 protocols, I think it was close. Other than passing away into another plane of existence, I cannot think of a routine procedure turning into a worst case scenario. I wish I was into Eastern religions like my father was, and I believed in karma, reincarnation and nirvana. But I believe YOLO!

Open Letter to my Neurologist

Courtesy of
https://www.amazon.com

I was referred to a neurologist to get rid of an abdominal pain right on top of my bladder; I wear a catheter: I used to wear a supra-pubic and switched to a foley, hoping to get rid of the excruciating pain associated with changing it every three weeks. My bladder stoma didn’t heal properly and my urologist gave me a referral after treating me surgically.

I will not mention my neurologist’s name to protect his identity. However, the events described are real and have cost me much pain beyond the physical ones.

Instead of treating my abdominal pain, my neurologist decided to treat me for psychological problems (real or imagined [Insert emoticon or emoji here] ©) aided by the insecurities and anxieties of my wife. He proceeded to waste weeks of my life administering unnecessary tests and prescribing dangerous drugs; To this day I still suffer from my abdominal pain. Of course, the main party to be blamed for this situation, it’s really me; I should have done something about it right away. And I finally have.

At first, I was very happy to get off the valproic acid improperly prescribed by a psychiatrist that my wife took me to see, under false pretenses; In my frustration, I would become belligerent whenever she wasted my time and money and I could not do anything about it —Valproic acid is a medicine given to epileptics; its organic compound is related to the ‘cicuta‘, a poisonous plant used since ancient times to kill people. It is a dangerous drug!— Instead my neurologist prescribed Lexapro, which is what was originally prescribed by Craig Hospital when I suffered my skiing misfortune (It’s part of Craig Hospital’s protocol for all SCI patients).

I am not a crazy old coot and I did not stop taking these dangerous drugs cold turkey. I did my research to safely discontinue their use. I am not against taking medicines, if one suffers from mental illness. But I am against taking psychotropic drugs to withstand life problems. Ultimately, life problems need to be confronted in order to resolve them.

I can remember one time when I failed terribly as a husband and a father! It was the late summer of 1998; After 19 years of hard work, three major software distributors had agreed to resell my software, AutoDISPATCH™ C/S, at the national level. My efforts had finally paid off! It happened in Cincinnati, Ohio at the Solomon Software Annual Conference; And the best part was that my beautiful wife was there to witness it and help me. At the end of this conference, Solomon Software surprised everyone and told all us re-sellers and developers, that they had just bought my main competitor —My competitor’s software wasn’t better, but they had the numbers and were creating major problems for Solomon customers— Who would you rather buy expensive Field Service Management software from? From some guy with a strange name and a small office in Newport Beach? Or from Solomon-Great Plains-Microsoft? Game over! I got extremely depressed!

In any case, I have decided that I will not spend the rest of my days on this Pale Blue Dot under the influence of psychotropic drugs. It’s been several months since I’ve been off Lexapro completely and I have not suffered a depression, even though I’m going through a very difficult and emotional legal separation. My BMP is down to the low 50’s; I’m 60 years old; When I was in great shape and much younger, my BMP was in the low 40’s. I no longer have nightmares; Instead, I have pleasant dreams, sometimes in Spanish. I wake up naturally just before light announces the dawn of a new day. And yes, my physiatrist (watch the spelling) knows all about it!

To my neurologist: Maybe you want to write off my actions as being delusional in order to justify your actions. Despite your battery of inconclusive tests and dangerous drugs, anyone can tell that I am not clinically depressed. And always remember why I was referred to you!