Tag: memories

🙏 I’m Thankful Because…

…my extraordinary parents gave me and my sister excellent DNA to pass along to future generations, along with great love and values that have served me well throughout my life.

..I grew up in a small town in Venezuela, with my beautiful sister, where I learned to forge long standing relationships with family and friends.

…my strong spirit and imagination that comes from a maternal Spanish ancestry as my mother’s family chose Venezuela when my grandfather was exiled during the Spanish Civil War. I keep in touch with my maternal relatives (godmother-aunt and first-cousins) on a daily basis.

…I won a Venezuelan academic scholarship that allowed me to study Information and Computer Science at the University of California, Irvine and that would define my adult life as a ‘Californio’,

…I still keep in touch with my high school friends (In Venezuela the professors come to your classroom and one gets to know a good part of 40 classmates fairly well during crucial teenage years); We have a WhatsApp group and post all kinds of stuff on a daily basis.

…I achieved two great adventure feats in my youth with some of my best friends: Climbing the most difficult peak in my country, Pico Humboldt (snow in the tropics where the Andes begin) and crossing the Pacific Ocean on a racing sailing boat from Hawaii to California.

…I was fortunate to have several beautiful girlfriends prior to my marriage, many of whom I still keep in touch with.

…I have great friendships with my UC Irvine College Buddies; We didn’t take any classes together but know each other because most of us were in sports teams. We have kept our friendships throughout all these years and even though we are scattered all over the US, we keep a daily SMS thread and have an ABT (All Boys Trip) once a year were we proceed to mostly make fun of each other for several days of great camaraderie.

…I had an idyllic marriage for 37 years to beautiful Mik (alas now my  ex-wife) that brought into existence two outstanding human beings:  My techy-artist son Xavier and my bona fide model daughter Sasha.

…I had my own software development and computer business (Intra Automation) a few years after college and during the computing heydays.

…I am still alive after suffering a catastrophic skiing misfortune that almost cost me my life and left me severely handicapped. I wouldn’t be alive without the love and attention of my ex-wife Mik and the support of family, friends and complete strangers.

…I am able to maintain a good standard of living and a rewarding professional life, even though I live alone, because of all the help from my caregivers and assistants.

…even with my disability and my mature age, I once again have found what makes life worth living: Romantic Love.

Courtesy of https://www.vecteezy.com/free-png/yin-yang

𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍; 𝑨𝒍𝒐𝒉𝒂!

Dusk: My Favorite Time of Day

Courtesy of https://explorebajacalifornia.com/things-to-do-in-bahia-de-los-angeles/

I know; I should like dawn as it promises many possibilities! But I always liked dusk better which should mean that one has taken advantage of the day.

It all goes back to one of my favorite literary elements from William Shakpeare’s Macbeth:

Be innocent of the knowledge, dearest chuck,
Till thou applaud the deed. 
Come, seeling night,
Scarf up the tender eye of pitiful day;
And with thy bloody and invisible hand
Cancel and tear to pieces that great bond
Which keeps me pale! 
Light thickens; and the crow
Makes wing to the rooky wood:
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
Thou marvell’st at my words: but hold thee still;
Things bad begun make strong themselves by ill.
So, prithee, go with me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth

💞 Bellaka is 30!

Sri & Sasha

Her nickname is a play of words in Spanish: Bella which she undoubtedly is! And Bella-ka (proper spelling is Bellaca) meaning deceitful which she was as a teenager, especially to her parents. The fact of the matter is that Sasha has grown even more beautiful and is always concerned for the well-being of family and friends. I don’t think that her teenage nickname applies anymore. I’ll have to come up with a better one; it will undoubtedly be based on bella!

Her age and the fact that one of my celebrity crushes is making ads for insomnia products has got me feeling pretty old.

By the way, she’s turning 31 tomorrow!

𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙚𝙥𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙡; 𝘼𝙡𝙤𝙝𝙖!

Picture disclaimer: No child was hurt during this antiquated but effective tooth removal procedure and the adult was obviously having lots of fun.

¡La Mar Picada!

Courtesy of https://www.lapatilla.com/

Mis tres tíos maternos siempre la llamaron “La Mar” y no lo gramáticamente correcto “El Mar”. Y tenian razón: La Mar es femenina, es temperamental; Puede obsequiarte exquisitos regalos o puede desencadenar su furia contra ti.

Desde niño siempre oí a mis familiares decir “Debe ser que ha bajado Serafín”, cuándo iba al litoral desde mi ciudad natal de Caracas y la mar estaba picada.

Mis tres tíos maternos: Paco, Pin y Tolin inmigraron a Venezuela junto con mi tía Titi y una niña sin sobrenombre pero llamada con diversos nombres por familiares y amigos: Mi Madre. Escapaban juntos a sus padres de la tiranía de Franco; Mi abuelo peleó en la guerra civil de España, en el lado perdedor y el nuevo gobierno le dijo: Puedes vivir en cualquier parte del mundo menos en España. Mis tres tíos emigraron a Venezuela ya siendo jovenes y nunca perdieron su acento español a diferencia de mi tía y mi madre

Mi tío Serafín siempre se ocupo que la empresa de su hermano mayor operará eficientemente, lo que la hizo crecer exitosamente. Lamentablemente, esto le sirvió muy poco a la hora de retirarse, cuando de verdad lo necesitaba y claramente lo merecía.

Lo que más le gustaba a mi tío Serafín era salir a pescar con su hermano menor, mi tío Juan, en su pequeño y austero cayuco (“La Victoria”, nombrado como su madre) anclado entre lujosas lanchas y yates en un magnífico club de playa, al lado de Naiguata. Me acuerdo tener que ayudar a mi primo Juanin a achicar y revisar “La Victoria” para que estuviera preparada para su padre, mi tío Juan, y nuestro tío Serafín. También me acuerdo cuando estando en Caracas, y se aparecían mis tíos Serafín y Juan con sendos refrigeradores portátiles, repletos de pescados qué compartian con mi madre y otros familiares.

Como acertadamente dijo una de mis dos hermosas primas (sus únicas hijas: María Fernanda ‘Nanda’ y Verónica): “Paz a su alma y a celebrar con Juanito Chipiron, el Whisky que pidió en el Hospital”.

¡QEPD Querido Tío Pin!

¡Feliz Navidad y Próspero Año Nuevo!

Sent via WhatsApp

Just as I have pointed out in years past, most Spaniards and Latin Americans won’t wish you a “Happy New Year” but a prosperous one. I guess if you have a prosperous year, it will be a happy one. After the hardships of 2020, we all deserve a prosperous 2021.

Very few days of 2020 have been great; And they have all involved seeing family and friends, specially my mother and sister, and my children (even if it was on video) and their respective boyfriend/girlfriend. Alas, I won’t be physically seeing them for the holidays because of the coronavirus, like a majority of people around the world. I’ll be happy with group video calls, hopefully including one with my college buddies.

This year has not been kind to me: It all began in May when my Mom (who started living with me since 2019) had her flight to the US cancelled, from a visit to her native Spain, because of covid-19 restrictions implemented one week before her return flight. Then on 9/11 my divorce from Mik became final after 37 years of wonderful marriage, and alas 2½ years of legal separation. Unfortunately, I lost a step-brother in my native Venezuela (QEPD Pablo Jose) and a close friend who had retired to his dream home in Dana Point (RIP Vince) to covid-19. I also lost my dear mother-in-law (RIP Faye) who thankfully passed away peacefully in her sleep.

But even though 2020 was an awful year, I also had some great days: Every Monday morning I have a video call with my Mom in Spain and my Sister in Venezuela. I had lunch with my Daughter and her boyfriend on Thanksgiving, and then had an unexpected video call with my Son (who lives in NorCal) at the end of the day. I was also introduced to his beautiful girlfriend. Just last week, I had a Zoom call with some of my high-school classmates; We set up a WhatsApp group and have been posting all kind of messages. Even though I keep in regular touch with three of them, I had not been in contact with most of these people in 45 years —As opposed to the US, in Venezuelan high schools, you stay together with about 40 people in your ‘section’ and the professors come to your classroom; You develop life-long friendships with most of these people—

Even though I conduct most of my contract work via emails and phone calls, I have a cherished ‘drop-by’ routine when I visit the Irvine office of Spireon in the middle of the week, seeing everyone shortly, and meeting with the engineering and managerial staff for Intellectual Property matters. So the WFH reality has not really impacted me but I realize what a hermit I’ve become. I live by a wonderful Town Center, and I used to run errands or just be outside almost daily, on my wheelchair (I’m handicapped with restricted use of my hands and arms because of a skiing misfortune). Now I just go outside once or twice a week, when is completely necessary and almost always acompanied by one of my caregivers. For work, I also conduct a quarterly IP Committee meeting and had not been able to schedule them; Just a few days ago I was able to conduct a productive Zoom meeting and get IP matters back on-track for the year.

When my old company PROCON (PROtect & CONnect) got acquired by a VC several years ago, my old friend and CEO was ousted and he formed a new company (Advantage Automotive Analítics) that currently competes in some markets with Spireon. His new company is also in Irvine and I would visit its offices every couple of months since I have many wonderful friendships with ex-coworkers, who ended up working at AAA. My old boss is also responsible for my new career in IP from being a “glorified hacker” to CIO (Career Is Over!) I miss visiting AAA and even though one could qualify these visits as akward, that’s another routine that I enjoyed and was not able to do in 2020.

I currently live by myself and none of my lifestyle would be possible, without my wonderful caregivers. I usually have daily help from 9am to 3pm but what gives me great flexibility, is to rely on a night caregiver that transfers me to bed and helps me with my end-of-day routines. She is outstanding as are all my other caregivers!

When I compare my situation with other people who are even able-bodied, I realize how grateful I should be. Even though 2020 has been an awful year, I am thankful for my health, my family and friends, my caregivers and my co-workers; And for everything I have been able to accomplish this year.

But I am looking forward to a prosperous 2021!

9/11: A shocking day for our great Nation; And an awful day for me!

One World Trade Center

Courtesy of https://www.architecturalrecord.com

If you have previously visited my blog, you know I wrote with great passion about the original 9/11 in A Change of Seasons.

This year, I feel like a personally devastating 9/11 is happening to me. You see, on Labor Day I met with my paralegal; she was notarizing my signature to end my marriage of 37 years! I am a romantic at heart, and even though she could file the final divorce papers that day, I asked her to wait until 9/11 so I could say that I was legally married to beautiful Mik for 37 years —Mik: nickname for my ex-wife Sally, that I gave her after she corrected me; her maiden last name McFerren is pronounced MikFerren and not MacFerren— Even though we were legally married at the Santa Ana courthouse on 8/12/1983, very few people knew about it, we consider our actual wedding day to be 9/10/1983, when we were married in the suburbs of Akron, Ohio, at a little church, where Mik’s parents, family and friends worshipped. We actually did not celebrate with our California friends until we returned from Ohio —We hosted a great party cruising on the Kon Tiki in beautiful Newport Beach harbor—

The last two and a half years have been awful, but we had 35 years of wonderful marriage. So why are we divorcing? It seems I was getting too mean! Mik would disregard my skiing misfortune handicap and make me late for all my personal and business appointments; a trait that does not define me! As a matter of fact, people know that if I make an appointment with them and they’re five minutes late and I don’t hear from them, I simply leave. I resolved that issue by telling Mik that my appointments were ½ hour earlier. But I am the male of the species and I have to take responsibility in the matter: We mismanaged a lot of money, and Mik decided that the best solution for my immediate future, was to retire me to a nursing home; Of course, after the wonderful life that I had been leading, I didn’t like this proposition at all. That and some financial decisions which I didn’t agree with, turned me mean again and she filed for a legal separation after avoiding marriage counseling that I had proposed. Because of my condition, I might end up in a nursing home after all, but at the age of 55, I wasn’t ready for it. I guess we have irreconcilable differences.

But not all should be considered doom and gloom; We have two (adult) children: A handsome young man and a beautiful girl (I know she is now a young lady, but she will always be my beautiful girl) . And I was able to provide a great life for them and Mik. They grew up in heavenly SoCal and I have always been able to provide great homes for them. Our children are not saddled with student loans and they attended well-known universities, including studies abroad. I was lucky to be able to provide financial resources, most of the time, and Mik worked as she pleased or not at all whenever possible. We were also lucky to have exotic vacations in my native Venezuela, Spain and Hawaii as well as the beautiful US southwest. All my material accomplishments were always accompanied with immeasurable love.

No matter what the future holds, I will keep telling my doctors and therapists, our families and friends and most people I meet that I wouldn’t be alive without the love and attention that Mik provided me during my recuperation from my skiing misfortune. I have always been a pretty active guy challenging myself in marathonic sports events and it could not have been easy to see your spouse almost die and with many tubes coming out of his body while in the ICU and reduced to a severely phisically handicapped person thereafter.

So what will I do know? Will I reinvent myself? 2020 has taught us not to make detailed plans because they can be unexpectedly derailed. One thing that I know for certain is that where two magnificent towers stood side by side, now a gleaming skyscraper has been proudly built. Alas, it stands by itself!

Going to California!

Courtesy of YouTube
 

 

As most of my friends know, Led Zeppelin is one of my favorite rock bands —Some others include Supertramp (go figure!), The Rolling Stones and Jimmy Hendrix; I’m really an old-school Venezuelan— One of my friends remembered the fact and he played some Led Zeppelin songs on the piano, that he had rehearsed for a recent end-of-year college-friends get-together (What a guy).

I have three citizenships: Venezuelan American and Spanish (Thanks to a “Historical Memory” Spanish law and to my maternal grandfather who fought in the Spanish Civil War); But I wish I was a Californio. California, specifically SoCal, has defined my adult life, and I consciously made the decision to study at UC Irvine and to live here.

Just today, I changed the ringtone for my (ex?) wife to this part of the song:

“Someone told me there’s a girl out there

 With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair”

I think the first sentences of the lyrics will never apply to her! [Insert emoticon or emoji here] ©